i want it but i can't have it

there is this battle inside me
what about?
well, the Harry Potter latest book is coming out in july
i want to buy the book sooooooo badly
nobody is stopping me..
my friends will say,
"kalau nak beli lah"

tapi in the inside there is this guilt churning in my stomach.
there are other books on my shelf that i have not finish reading
some of them are there just for perhiasan...

tapi this is the last book.
i don't want to hear it from anyone else.
i want to read the ending myself...

huhu.. conpius conpius...
i want it.. but i can't have it
i can have it but i can't have it..
am i making sense...
i know some of u would understand...
wondering... thinking... and wanting....
and i don't know what to do...
i am in dilemma =(