Timothy

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Salam wrb,

One of the classes that I teach only has 20 pupils in it. 20 orang je… sikit kan? However, the number of students in a class does not indicate that it is easy to manage them. This is one of the hardest classes to teach and control (not sure about other teacher, but it is hard for me). Half of the kids are boisterous boys which I always find it hard to tackle.

Anyway, one of the boys, Timothy, has just lost his mother around April. Last Tuesday instead of being his usual self, disruptive and noisy, he was unusually quiet and refused to participate. I peeked at him and asked “Timothy kenapa? Demam ke?” I felt his forehead to make sure that he was not sick. He looked up and shook his head. He had a sad look on his face and looked like he was going to cry. However, he tried as hard as he could not to cry.

The way he looked at me that day went straight into my heart. I’m not sure why he was sad but something tells me that he missed his mother. I wondered how it feels like if mak is not around when I was nine. I can’t imagine how life would be without mak and abah. I am used to her telling me what to do. Yes, I do complain about mak checking on me all the time. However, I am also enjoying it knowing that it is how mak loves each and everyone of us. She gives advice all the time. It’s the same old thing being repeated again and again and again. Sometimes I wonder if she’ll ever get bored of repeating the same thing. Nevertheless, I love it when she repeats the same thing over and over again knowing that she cares about me. Yet, I take her for granted.

When I thought of these things, I felt for Timothy. I hope that he will grow up into a person. He doesn’t have to be a doctor or engineer. All I want is for him to be a human. You know what I mean. Tak pandai takpe tapi yang penting bila dah besar boleh jadi manusia…

I know I have complained about 3B for countless time. But I do miss them when I didn’t go into that class. Today for an instance, I do dread going to class because I know as usual they will be out of control but I will miss Johnny’s disruptive behaviour, Philip’s stubbornness, Dublen’s empty stare at me, the kids complaining “Dia tendang saya, dia ambil pensel saya, dia itu… dia ini” and many more.

However, I also know that some days when I walked out of the class a voice will say “I hate my job” over and over again. I love these kids. Each one of them is special in their own way. How I wish that one day when I walk into 3B they’ll sitting quietly on their chair waiting for my instructions. Haha…I wish…

That is all for now. Till then, wassalam.