okies here goes my post before i fly off to kuching tomorrow afternoon.
Today my mom's PK's wife passed away - al-fatihah to arwah dr.asiah. The whole family went to Hj.Aminolhuda's house to visit the Hj. Amin's family. When we reached there, emak went straight to the jenazah while I sat at the back of other women who were sitting and reciting surah Yasin. I'm not very familiar with funeral. As far as I know this is only my third funeral where the first two were my late uncle and nenek. So, there I was sitting at the back of the crowd watching things happening around me.
I looked at the ladies who were preparing the thing after the jenazah while the jenzah was cleaned. I looked and thought "If it were my mum, would I know what to do? What do I need? What do I have to prepare?" I watched until the guy who was in-charge pulled the curtain down. While waiting, we recite the Yassin. I could hear sobbing from the back of the curtain. It was continous and many were starting to sob after the jenazah was brought back to its original position (before that she was taken to the kitchen untuk dimandikan). I guessed she must loved by many people.We stayed at Hj.Amin's house until the men had performed solat jenazah.
It's irony. How can we celebrate Hari Raya when there is death. People were whispering. It felt as if one person who speak with their 'normal' volume will wake the dead. Even hearing the raya songs from the ringitones of the phones made me feel as if it is not hari raya. Hari raya is always associated with happiness, smile, laughter. It's weird to attend funeral in this festive month.
This is my second death-news for this year. The first was an ustaz from SK Lubok Antu whom I have not met during my stay in Batang Ai until one day prior to his death. I was sitting in front of Lian Yi with Zul and Syafiq while waiting for Juju to be ready. He walked passed us and he greeted Syafiq. I asked Zul "Sape tu?". Zul said that he is from Sk Lubok Antu. The next day, Zul came to my house asking for his helmet (which is weird because zul seldom wear his helmet). He told me "Ingat tak ustaz yang kite jumpe semalam? Dia meninggal dah".
I had goosebumps when I heard his word. One person, the last time I saw, was in the pink of health was suddenly gone. And he was around our age (meaning not more than 30, I can't remember his age). Death can occur at anytime, and anywhere. At this age, we thought that we will only die when we reached the golden era. We thought we will have time to repent. We thought we will have time to learn about our religion when we retire. Now, it's all about having fun, collect lots of money and try to explore as much as we can. However, what we always forget is I may die tonight, in the next 5 minutes, tomorrow". What more with the news of accidents here and there, young people die everyday. Most of the time we forget to put ourselves in that person's shoes "Kalau lah itu aku...".
Allah has mentioned for countless in the Quran, all those who is being punished during the Judgement Day will say "oh Lord, please give me one more chance. I promise this time I'll do everyting that YOU have asked me to do". The truth is there is no second chance. Nil.. That's it. Hidup sekali. Mati sekali. Lets make our life on this earth as a place to 'berkebun menyemai amal-amal buat bekalan di akhirat kelak'.
I know it is easier said than done. Yes, I can easily say pray, read the Quran, recite the zikr, lets perform Qiyammulail. Do as much as we can. We don't have to do EVERYTHING in the first time. Start with baby steps. You don't have to sprint straight away. The most important thing is to istiqamah and try to improve as time goes by. Let's strive. Strive to be a better muslim and servant of Allah. Strive to be a better sister, daughter, friend, teacher and other roles that we play in our lives. Aram (Jom).
This is just a reminder. For myself mostly as I think I have been standing on the same spot far too long and I have even glanced on the path I was once in the last months. I do belief and I do know what is right and what is wrong. but...
oh well, till then. selamat ke sekolah cikgu-cikgi. Let's love these kids. haih, I hope my kids are learning something from me. Teaching is not as easy as I thought. Especially when it involves real human with feelings and mind and pelbagai perangai and pe'el. Young mind which need to be nurtured with good values. Potentials which need to be polished. And no matter how naughty and off task they are I still have to love and teach them. You want to try to be a teacher? I give you one week in one of my classes and you tell me whether you still want to be a teacher or not. A teacher may not be one of the professions that .... -->(dipandang tinggi ape eh?) by the society. I have even get one of those tone which says "Cikgu lagi..." which made me feel small. It's ok, a teacher may not be anyone to the world, but to the kids the teacher means a world to them. Especially kids in the kampung area.
Better stop now, wassalam.
Today my mom's PK's wife passed away - al-fatihah to arwah dr.asiah. The whole family went to Hj.Aminolhuda's house to visit the Hj. Amin's family. When we reached there, emak went straight to the jenazah while I sat at the back of other women who were sitting and reciting surah Yasin. I'm not very familiar with funeral. As far as I know this is only my third funeral where the first two were my late uncle and nenek. So, there I was sitting at the back of the crowd watching things happening around me.
I looked at the ladies who were preparing the thing after the jenazah while the jenzah was cleaned. I looked and thought "If it were my mum, would I know what to do? What do I need? What do I have to prepare?" I watched until the guy who was in-charge pulled the curtain down. While waiting, we recite the Yassin. I could hear sobbing from the back of the curtain. It was continous and many were starting to sob after the jenazah was brought back to its original position (before that she was taken to the kitchen untuk dimandikan). I guessed she must loved by many people.We stayed at Hj.Amin's house until the men had performed solat jenazah.
It's irony. How can we celebrate Hari Raya when there is death. People were whispering. It felt as if one person who speak with their 'normal' volume will wake the dead. Even hearing the raya songs from the ringitones of the phones made me feel as if it is not hari raya. Hari raya is always associated with happiness, smile, laughter. It's weird to attend funeral in this festive month.
This is my second death-news for this year. The first was an ustaz from SK Lubok Antu whom I have not met during my stay in Batang Ai until one day prior to his death. I was sitting in front of Lian Yi with Zul and Syafiq while waiting for Juju to be ready. He walked passed us and he greeted Syafiq. I asked Zul "Sape tu?". Zul said that he is from Sk Lubok Antu. The next day, Zul came to my house asking for his helmet (which is weird because zul seldom wear his helmet). He told me "Ingat tak ustaz yang kite jumpe semalam? Dia meninggal dah".
I had goosebumps when I heard his word. One person, the last time I saw, was in the pink of health was suddenly gone. And he was around our age (meaning not more than 30, I can't remember his age). Death can occur at anytime, and anywhere. At this age, we thought that we will only die when we reached the golden era. We thought we will have time to repent. We thought we will have time to learn about our religion when we retire. Now, it's all about having fun, collect lots of money and try to explore as much as we can. However, what we always forget is I may die tonight, in the next 5 minutes, tomorrow". What more with the news of accidents here and there, young people die everyday. Most of the time we forget to put ourselves in that person's shoes "Kalau lah itu aku...".
Allah has mentioned for countless in the Quran, all those who is being punished during the Judgement Day will say "oh Lord, please give me one more chance. I promise this time I'll do everyting that YOU have asked me to do". The truth is there is no second chance. Nil.. That's it. Hidup sekali. Mati sekali. Lets make our life on this earth as a place to 'berkebun menyemai amal-amal buat bekalan di akhirat kelak'.
I know it is easier said than done. Yes, I can easily say pray, read the Quran, recite the zikr, lets perform Qiyammulail. Do as much as we can. We don't have to do EVERYTHING in the first time. Start with baby steps. You don't have to sprint straight away. The most important thing is to istiqamah and try to improve as time goes by. Let's strive. Strive to be a better muslim and servant of Allah. Strive to be a better sister, daughter, friend, teacher and other roles that we play in our lives. Aram (Jom).
This is just a reminder. For myself mostly as I think I have been standing on the same spot far too long and I have even glanced on the path I was once in the last months. I do belief and I do know what is right and what is wrong. but...
oh well, till then. selamat ke sekolah cikgu-cikgi. Let's love these kids. haih, I hope my kids are learning something from me. Teaching is not as easy as I thought. Especially when it involves real human with feelings and mind and pelbagai perangai and pe'el. Young mind which need to be nurtured with good values. Potentials which need to be polished. And no matter how naughty and off task they are I still have to love and teach them. You want to try to be a teacher? I give you one week in one of my classes and you tell me whether you still want to be a teacher or not. A teacher may not be one of the professions that .... -->(dipandang tinggi ape eh?) by the society. I have even get one of those tone which says "Cikgu lagi..." which made me feel small. It's ok, a teacher may not be anyone to the world, but to the kids the teacher means a world to them. Especially kids in the kampung area.
Better stop now, wassalam.
2 comments:
hm. my grandma passed away in the middle of the fasting month. and i helped to mandikan her. it was such an experience to me. she looked serene and calm. and i couldnt bring myself to give her the last kiss. dun think i can tahan my tears kot.
Let's muhasabah diri and istiqamah. *hugs*
Innalillahiwainnailahiraji'un
yes, must try to istiqamah
hugs..
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